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Anyone could manage with a lifestyle manager

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By Staff Brunswick Beacon

It’s one thing to have a career and quite another to stay at home, tending to the home fires and bookoodles of endless tasks shrieking for attention there.

A few days ago, I was about to move out until I read some advice about cutting what you have to do down into “chunks,” to make the chores at hand less overwhelming and more manageable.

I think that’s a great idea.

For example, if the kitchen is topsy-turvy, you should just focus on one thing at a time. On Monday, say, transfer all the dirty cookware stacked in the sink into the dishwasher. Tuesday, move the plates and glasses, and so on. By Friday, you should be ready to ignite the machine and enjoy your weekend.

I definitely have found “chunking,” so to speak, allows me more time and freedom to do the things I want to do—tuning into HBO and kvetching about my problems.

My sister once said she thought it was great to have a job where you could get out of the house and shut the door on all the domestic issues at hand. At least the place couldn’t get any messier.

But some people have gotten so busy, they need someone to live, I mean manage, their lives for them.

Some career-oriented families, those who can afford it I presume, have taken to hiring “lifestyle managers,” people who apparently have no other career options but to clean up your mess at home.

I’m slightly skeptical.

I mean, Britney Spears can probably afford one of those, and look where it’s gotten her.

Lifestyle managers oversee everything from shopping for a dependable used car for the family teenager (snap! says my 17-year-old) to planning funerals, scrapbooking, “negotiating overseas adoptions and bailing clients out of jail.”

Yes, certain celebrities could definitely use one of those.

The best one I read about, for harried pet owners who don’t actually have time to say hello to Fido and Snookie, are lifestyle managers who have been charged with the difficult task of caring for the family animals.

Among her duties, one lifestyle assistant was responsible for monitoring the TV when the family beagle watched Animal Planet.

Whenever one of the “more troubling animal-rescue shows” came on, the lifestyle manager was supposed to change the channel, perhaps to a more soothing soap opera.

Lifestyle managers are great.

Lifestyle managers do whatever you command them to, a la Jeeves himself.

Lifestyle managers are paid up to $100 per hour.

I think I could manage with a job like that.

Laura Lewis is a staff writer at the Beacon. Reach her at 754-6890 or llewis@brunswickbeacon.com.