Denture rage somehow makes headlines

BY SARAH SHEW WILSON

STAFF WRITER

Ever since the sad yet somehow fascinating “woman stuck to the toilet seat” story captured my attention back in the spring, I’ve been trying to cut down on the number of columns I write commenting on “weird, wacky news.”

I thought it would be disrespectful to try and top that one.

Well, it’s been about eight months now, so I just have to use this opportunity to comment on another bizarre incident in the news.

Not that this is exactly “news,” it’s more like gossip, although it is definitely weird, and it makes you consider what kinds of incidents can flip someone’s switch into dangerous territory.

In this case, it was dentures.

According to a story in the Tampa Tribune, Louise Deeringer and her boyfriend of 11 years, Guy Dugas, got into such a heated fight over where her false teeth were they ended up in jail for assaulting each other.

Seriously—a knock-down, drag-out fight over false teeth.

It apparently started about 11:15 p.m. last week in their home when Deeringer confronted Dugas about what he had done with her false teeth.

According to the story, Dugas, 49, said he didn’t know where her teeth were, but Deeringer, 56, didn’t believe him.

This is where it got ugly. The boyfriend got angry and gave Deeringer what she called “flying lessons,” tossing her up in the air and onto the kitchen floor, according to police.

The toothless Deeringer apparently wasn’t having it and decided to fight back.

She grabbed a kitchen knife and chased Dugas outside. She saw him go back into the house and chased him down a hall, saying “You’re going to tell me where my teeth are, or I’m going to kill you.”

When Mr. “Flying Lessons” ran into a bathroom, Deeringer stabbed the bathroom door, according to the story.

Police were called, and after they arrived, guess what? Deeringer found her teeth behind the TV stand.

The police charged Deeringer with felony aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and Dugas with misdemeanor domestic battery. They went to jail and no bail was set.

I’m not even going to pretend to be shocked if I learn alcohol was involved in this incident, but even drunk, wouldn’t you have a little more faith in your boyfriend than to think he deliberately hid your dentures?

If not, he probably shouldn’t be your boyfriend anymore.

And, come on, 49 and 56 years old? Aren’t they a bit long in the tooth (so to speak) for these childish antics? In 10 years are they going to be arrested when she accuses him of hiding her walker?

At what age do you start trusting people?

Oh well. I’m sure the people in Tampa got a good laugh out of this “news” story. I just hope there aren’t any kids or grandkids who can’t show their faces around the neighborhood right now.