The horse race continues in '08

To the editor: As each was before it, the “Big Race of ’92” was a race between Money’s Might, Moral Mission and Military Muscle.

Early in the race, Money’s Might and Moral Mission left Military Muscle running a distant third. The cheers of the fans then pushed Money’s Might on to an easy victory.

The winning jockey celebrated his victory over Moral Mission with big cigars and busy bottoms, redefining in the process the universal understanding of “illicit sexual relations” among jockeys, horses and fans.

All this gave place to such change in track administration and policy that the fans felt free to go ahead and make Money’s Might our national stud.

Moral Mission and Military Muscle were retired to their pastures.

For the next eight years, the fans played “follow the jock,” while Money’s Might freely proliferated his kind through every stable in the country and we, the fans, faithfully paid the bill for it all.

It certainly seemed like we had a three-way tie in the “Big Race of 2000,” with all three horses standing as equals in the winner’s circle.

In 2001, the runoffs began. For eight long years, we fans have watched them compete: Money’s Might, Moral Mission and Military Muscle.

Each has weakened more than we expected. The lone jockey, being himself a former Texas cowboy, has ridden them all till each is about to drop.

The cheers of the fans have long fallen silent. Will the runoffs ever end?

Yes, they will! And another big race is preparing. The fans are going wild! Three fresh jockeys are waiting to ride.

Each expects to win. But, alas, there will be only two horses in the race.

Moral Mission, after repeated defeats and receiving a “no confidence” feeling from the jocks and the fans, has already retired to his pasture (note: It is rumored his stable may be in foreclosure).

This fact, of course, also means that, “One jock’s gotta go!”

Yes, out of the gate in 2008 will become a dead heat between Money’s Might and Military Muscle.

Trouble is, after these eight years of the runoffs, both of them are just about out of gas.